Monday, April 12, 2021

Embracing Stains, Flaws and Mistakes

     A few days ago my wife Nancy spilled some tea in our den.  She said, "It's not too bad and won't even leave   a stain."   My immediate reaction was to say,"Not a problem, its just a mark of living life".  I don't know where that came from.  Upon further reflection I think I have mellowed enough to realize striving for a perfect environment is not necessarily a good thing.

    I think there is real merit in embracing the stains, flaws and mistakes we make in living our lives.   I am not suggesting that we get lackadaisical but let's recognize that we should not be obsessed with always having to be perfect.  (even in skiing).

 I remember reading about someone who had a dining room table that showed a lot of nicks, scratches and dings.  A friend asked why he didn't refinish it?   His reply was that each of the flaws was a reminder of a family gathering of celebration around that table.   Of course there are some mistakes we would like to forget.  Perhaps the best way to embrace those memories is  process what has been learned from the mistakes and use the insight as a reminder to live a better life in the future.

    All of us have made mistakes in our relationships.   Some are more serious than others.  There are broken friendships, divorces, and estrangements.  All of those have left a mark in our lives.  However I would hope that in retrospect, we had learned something from those events and moved on to improved relationships without wallowing in too much regret and remorse.  

        Just as a tea stain on the rug fades with time, the flaws in our psyches are healed.   



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